Wednesday, March 3, 2010
1:29 AM
My Aunt, Cik Ita, had a heart attact.
It was a few weeks ago wen it first happened.
She was hospitalized but then released after check-ups determined that her only option was to do a by-pass surgery for 5 of the blocked/narrow passages that led to her heart.
The operation was set to be on the 14th of Apr.
However i only knew that the date had been brought forward a day before the actual operation which was this morning.
Operations all involve risks and of cos not needing a operation is the ideal situation but unfortunately, my aunt has no choice.
Truthfully i was relieved that the operation was brought forward.
This morning, i went down to the hospital in the hopes of taking a look at my aunt before the operation, however i only got to catch a glimpse of her from afar.
The operation theatre's door stood between me n my aunt and at tt moment i just felt realli sad n the urge to cry was so strong.
The operation was set to last abt 5 hrs so my dad sent my grandma n my aunt home first and we went on to do our own stuff.
While at home, at abt 2pm, i received a call informing me tt the operation was cancelled due to complications.
At that moment, all hopes of having this dreadful event move on, were dashed.
It was only after my dad ended work at 9pm, tt he came hm to fetch my bro n i down to the hospital to visit my aunt in the ICU ward.
Before gg up to the ward, my grandma and other relatives were explaining to us what actually happened.
Apparently, when my aunt was in the operation theatre, apart from the nerves that were getting the best of her, she couldnt breathe properly when she lay down flat.
Doctors had to stop the operation from proceeding as they realized tt she was having another heart attack right there and then in the operation theatre before the operation could even take place.
The doctors said that this heart attack was even more serious than the 1st and fortunately she was in full attention of the docs or else something tt i do not even wan to think of might have happened. If she wasnt in the hospital, and was at home, and this happened... i realli dunno wad to think...
My uncle said that rite nw... the docs are waiting for my aunts condition to stabilise n then they would have to have the operation as soon as possible.
My steps towards my aunts ward was so heavy and it was the first time i was actually entering the ICU.
There i saw her... lying there with all these machines and gadgets that i dun even noe what purpose they serve around her.
And wen i walked over to kiss her hand, i slowly noticed that there were so many things inserted into her arm and even her neck...
She looked so weak and tired and wen i asked her if she was tired, she replied that the tube connected to her neck was making her chest hurt.
It hurt me to see her in that state...
It hurt even more that i couldnt do anything for her.
Everytime i visit her at the hospital, i feel so useless.
Like standing there... all these tots running thru my mind
"Should i comfort her?"
or
"Should i talk to her as per normal"
Should i, should i, should i...
But i never got to saying anything...
Instead tonight, i just stood there staring at her... looking at how this lady who treated me like a princess and took care of me so well wen i was younger, looked so small and weak...
It seemed that the roles had been reversed and i should be taking care of her now...
But wad can i actually do for her?
Please get well soon Cik Ita...
Let's get thru this together...
D'=
Why is this happening? Why?
